soul

tears are welling
eyes are swelling

a heart that's bleeding
a soul worth feeding

loneliness that rules my world
one that has been unfulfilled

seeking a soulmate
one I'll find by fate

I sit and wonder
I pace and ponder

If you're out there
If we're a pair

one to hold so dear
one to face the fear

Scared

running scared thru this thing called life
barefoot and bleeding in strife

battered and tattered from love lost
abandoned and lonely at what cost

bled dry of feelings of love and hope
soaked in emotions which I can not cope

a mind stained in red
a body that's now dead

when will this terror flee
with joy as my only plea

where do I go from here
with a future that I fear

trapped

a deserted soul
forever trapped behind eyes
of isolation

Poetry

Poetry is pure emotion
It speaks with vivid devotion

It tells a story of feeling
one that can be quite revealing

Words that simply come together
Phrases forming without tether

A picture painted from the heart
To have all visualize in part

A depiction of our soul
A poem that makes us whole

Chipmunk

A coat all streaked in shades of brown
A home borrowed thru out the ground

Cheeks a full with autumns plunder
winters hoards enough I wonder

Plenty of nuts and seeds to please
all gathered with such expertise

shucking shelling to reveal foils
tucking away so not one spoils

True I'm a mammal small in size
To you I say do not chastise

For that little debility
I wright with speed an agility

Chipmunk is what I aim to be
not some silly punk you will see

Ice cream cone

I'm sitting here alone
With just an ice cream cone

Sucking at the side
With nothing to hide

A kid at heart
And no impart

With no one to adhere
Ice cream from ear to ear

Keep on licking up and down
Without so much as a frown

Like a boy so boisterous
Oh what ice creamy goodness

pine trio

solitary pine
needles green covered in snow
suspended in time till spring

Branches are hanging
down under a blanket of white
waiting for a thaw

A bird on it's limb
standing alone head in wing
sleeping in this cold

warmth

the sun shining through
with rays piercing panes of glass
warming weary bones

immortal

to live forever
where death has no conception
imagination

solved

a thought from above
with clarity so surreal
a problem now solved

seasons

with winter upon
and fall left to far behind
bringing spring summer

Autumn

what my eyes behold
autumn trees giving color
winter right behind

The Place to be

A new site I did start
One that came from the heart

A place for one and all to see
A place where writers want to be

A place for you to vent
Emotions that are pent
To release your torment
Not having to repent
Where all feelings are meant

A place for poets and poems to see
The Poets Place is where all want to be

"????"

Earth explosion
orgasmic eruption
pleasure or pain
who is, to decide

Creation

lay and wait
life will create

Searching for a Lover

one that is a hugger, a laugher
one that won't make me
madder, sadder,
or even balder
one that's not
a pouter or a schemer
one that is a soother, a spooner
even a squealer
not a faker, a stalker,
or a midnight squawker
one that is a winner,
could be a singer, a hummer
even a drummer
I don't need a fibber,a downer
or even a frowner
just need one that will make me
shiver and quiver
for being a great kisser
one that I can flatter
to make her day brighter
one that I can be her anchor
her answer, her charmer
her winer and diner
her knight in shining armor
I can be her victor, her healer
one that I can give humor, laughter
even pleasure
one that I make safer,smoother
and a little softer
a girl I can meet at the alter
for i will not falter

Ex just called

So my ex-wife just  called
I simply got mauled

For even after three years
It is me she still smears

I know this of coarse
And say it without remorse

She is a loon
A stone cold buffoon

Even after the divorce
There is no remorse

Only bitterness and hate
In which I do not legate

Why can't we just be genteel
It would make much more of an appeal

Why can't we just talk
No, she just reeks havoc

She brings on the stress
Into the past she does regress

When I snap her into the present
All she does is resent

Let us not look at the past
For that we have surpassed

Let us look to the future
Like a new venture
With some nurture and culture
Would be the perfect mixture

Stress

My mind with so much stress
My body so restless
I need to suppress
I have to oppress
I can not regress
I must progress
To take away this stress

In the morning

In the morning I awoke
Why not have one more toke
So around I did poke
And that's no joke
Were the hell is my smoke
Now before I awake the kinfolk
There's something I must invoke
It's chicken I must choke

That means it's time to pee
And that you will not see
Is what that it causes, Is much glee

Igloo

Snow over a foot deep
Thrown into a big heap

A pile we will make
If not for the kids sake
For an igloo they will undertake

Through the hole I will creep
Not a word I shall peep
Lying here trying to sleep

As I begin to shake
And my back begin to ache
I think it's time for a house break

I'll crawl out like a sheep
And it's off to the house to get some sleep

Quite the poet

I have become quite the poet
Wouldn't you know it

Rhyming is my thing
but words I can not sing

The words I do say
just seem to pay

Rhymes forming in my head
As I go off to bed

Words coming faster then I can write
now is my plight

pen and paper in hand
Is almost to much to stand

Off the top of my head

Off the top of my head
Sitting here in bed

What should I write
Seems to be my plight

In my room all warm and cozy
My cheeks all red and rosy

While outside is all cold and blustery
Oh look my dog is all soggy

Well that was fun
And that is no pun

Jay my Friend

For what has dawned my eyes
I will not disguise

This is what I have seen,  A friend die
and in this poem I will not be shy

He yelled I don't want to live
And shit I do not give

He yelled I want to die
and that's not a lie

I said your drunk
Thinking he was just in a funk

He stormed off to his room
with an angry look of gloom

And what happened next,  Click Click
So I took off to stop this trick

Got to his room, swung the door open
Only to have my face frozen

Shotgun in his mouth, finger on the trigger
To yell NO was all I could figure

With every emotion across his face
And a life in which he was about to erase

Then with a pull of the trigger he was gone
now a future without a friend from here on

Left with nothing but nightmares in my head
And visions that are blood-red
Now with tears that continue to shed
And thought that I dread

The thoughts of the path he chose to travel
Has my mind quite unraveled

One that I have walked , but not to the end
One that has you only descend

And with that, Jay my friend
It is brotherly love to the end

Heart so divine

There once was a girl with a heart so divine
Whose love I can't help but to enshrine,

  Her eyes so pretty
  It makes me gitty

So without being witty,be my valentine

Be my Valentine

As if the planets were about to align
As if someone planted a great big sign
There is something I must consign
There is something I must resign
It is the hair that flows along your neckline
It is the curves of your waistline
Everything is so divine
I can not refine
Your lips I must headline
Are as sweet as a fine wine
Now one last thing I must incline
Is would you be my valentine

Words arose

From the one that the words arose
Comes a face that strikes a pose

Sadness in those beautiful eyes
Behind the glasses it tries to hide

You see I know better
For sadness I do weather

But now as two becomes one
As we unite under the sun

It's happiness that now prevails
For our ship has set its sails

One last thing I might ask
Which might be quite a task

Is a lovely smile
On that cute profile

Two Halves

As two halves make a whole
I feel a friendship about to unroll
You see the darkest parts of my soul
In which I have no control

As I with you I must admit
without even knowing it

Between us there is a bond
One we must not despond

For the words we write
Put us in quite a fright
For that we will fight
For the happiness to come to sight

There once was a girl

There once was a girl from Illinois
Who caused me a great deal of joy,

   I've not met her quite yet
  She is one I will not forget,

So we should not fret, just enjoy

Time to Time

From time to time
I write these words that rhyme

They come purely from the heart
Often hard to make them start

But once they begin to flow
All other things I must forgo

For these words I must write
And do so without a fight

Feelings I've held for so long
Emotions that can not be wrong

Oppression seems to be the relief
But gives me nothing but grief

Sadness and sorrow are what I bolster
Happiness and joy are all I wish to holster

In the end the words of anguish,
Are the ones that I publish

To you on poetry soup

To you on poetry soup
And to all here's the scoop

To have so much in common
Is like your my shaman

To talk with someone like you
Who indeed shares the same view

With hearts still in so much pain
It's our feelings we unchain

The sad stuff is what we scrawl
And the happy ones we enthrall

For the words you write
Makes me feel alright

Even with happiness buried so deep
It's your words that make me weep

Now don't get me wrong
It's the sadness that's gone

For you have brought me quite a thrill
By your poetry giving me quite a chill

If friendship is all to be had
With you I would be quite glad :)

Bleeding Heart

A heart that bleeds from within
A face without a grin

Tears that never seem to end
Into this world of sorrow I descend

Fearing a life of loneliness
Dreaming of nothing but happiness

A pain that drains my body
A torment that affects me so harshly

Misery that runs mt day
Pills that keep it all abay

Nightmares that seem to taunt
Reality that does nothing but haunt

To heal my heart from within
Is the place I must begin

Searching

Searching the deepest parts of my soul
For something that will make me whole

A life that is in shambles
A mind that seems to ramble

From dreadful thoughts of death and pain
To feelings of life yet to gain

Where will I go from here
How will I face this fear

This worry, that's just a delusion
This fright, that's just an illusion
This life, that's full of confusion

Where do I go from here, I must contend
Which path I shall take, it will depend
On how my life will transcend

Behind these walls

Behind these walls I sit
Wandering where my life will fit

Where will I go from here
Is something that's not so clear

From unwise choices made
To consequences that will not fade

A mind that's in turmoil
To blood that seems to boil

Lost in this world of shit
Where does my life fit

Have yet to meet

To the one I've talked to, but have yet to meet
From what has been said you seem so sweet
To what has not is sure to be a treat

Getting to know each other better
Is something we should not fetter

Friends at the start
Will set us apart

We're seeking relationships that will last
A one that is unlike the ones of our past

So let's see what the future will bring
It's sure to bring us both a grin

Winter

With winter upon us
We shall not make a fuss

As the snow begins to fall
The trees still stand tall

As the days grow shorter
Happiness will be a tall order

As a blanket of snow covers the ground
Spring is nowhere to be found

As the nights grow colder
We must fight bolder

For a memory we retrace
Spring will soon be in our face

Pain in my heart

Tears in my eyes
is something I can not deny

with nowhere to go
and nothing to show

happiness just seeming to be a dream
and nightmares ripping me from the seams

a pain that is so deep
a torment I will always keep

searching for a purpose
one that never seems to surface

thoughts that are out of control
emotions that take there toll

finding someway to depart
to rid this pain in my heart

The one my heart belongs

To the one I have loved for so long
To the one my heart belongs

Two years have gone past
My life is still aghast

To hold you once again
Just like when it all began

To show you my love has never wavered
Would you allow me such a favor

To forget the past all together
To start a future that will last forever

Would make me smile till the end of time
So what I'm asking is will you be all mine

New Start

Waiting for a new start
Hoping happiness will be a big part

Sadness I want to overcome
Sorrow that I will not succumb

Day after day wandering where I will stay
Searching for a place to keep the torment away

Night after night fighting the nightmares that bring such a fright
waking up and hoping things will be alright

As the sun is on the rise
It is my emotions I must disguise

Holding Hands

Eyes that weep the pain of love lost
A heart that yearns to be melted by love again
Like the sun melting the morning frost

Searching not only for the love of my life
But a best friend that would be my wife

Seeking a soul mate to explore the world together
And a lover to hold hands with forever

Mental Illness

A wound that is unseen
A pain that is really mean

A disease that is misunderstood
A sickness that is under my hood

A condition that has no borders
An affliction that puts your mind in no order

An illness that is certain to displease
Oh will someone help us please

What we seek

Mental illness are words people are afraid to speak
When happiness is all we seek

From a place of darkness we rise
Should not come as any surprise

Even when we fumble
Please realize it's just a stumble

Anhedonia is where we're at
Enjoyment is what must begat

Mental illness is not planned
Understanding is all we demand

Future Unknown

With a future unknown
A feeling of imminent doom to dethrone

Where will I be with a future unknown
With thoughts of ensuing gloom

Sadness that seems to loom
What will it say on my tomb

A future of darkness and despair
A present that is beyond repair

Fear of not knowing what will become
A horror that can not be undone

What will the future become

Positive Thoughts

Positive thoughts are what we need
To heal the negative perceptions that we bleed

Happiness is what we desire
Joyous reflection is what we must conspire

Affirmative action we must take
For our mindfulness to awake

Healthy coping skills we must learn
So our emotions don't get burned

Positive thoughts to help our self esteem
Is what we can achieve by working as a team

All we ask is that you try to understand
If you would like to join our merry band

With You

Walking hand in hand
Something I can always stand

Eyes of blue
Always looking true

A smile so bold
It's got me sold

A heart full of love
Fits you like a glove

Trying never to look down
Always turning that frown upside down

One thing must be said
Before any tears are shed

To tell you before we perish
Your the one I cherish

Daughter

To my little girl Brittany
You  will always be my sweetie

Missing you more and more
Life without you is such a bore

From my baby munchkin to
a beautiful young women

May your happiness never darken
and your smile always brighten

Beauty that exists inside and out
Is known by all without a doubt

My love for you will never falter
Even if you stumble I'll just hold tighter

Forever and Always Dad

Life of Uncertainty

A life full of uncertainty
A mind shadowed in confusion
Is this world just a delusion

Feelings of sorrow and despair
Thoughts that don't compare

Emotions of regret and shame
Why do I feel such pain

In my life of uncertainty

A Smile So Genuine

A smile so sure
A beauty so pure

A smile that comes from the heart
A smile I knew from the start

A heart of gold
That has me sold

A soul so deep
It makes me weep

An outlook so true
It makes me blue

A smile so genuine
It's sure not to threaten

A smile so genuine

A Friend Just Met

True friends are hard to find
Your the one I had in mind

Someone that is always there
Even when I'm quite a bear

To a friend just met
I know your a great bet


Thanks Steph

Suicide

 Original version

When the thought of dying seems like your only bet
Just please don't forget
I love you
When you think death is all your going to get
Please don't forget
I love you
If your thinking of jumping from a jet
Please don't forget
I love you
When you think it's your last set
Just please don't forget
I LOVE YOU!!!!

 ReWrite

When the thought of dying seems like your only bet
When you think death is all your going to get
When  your thinking of jumping from a jet
And you don't even fret

When six feet under
Looks like a good plunder
When all you do is blunder
When everyone steals your thunder

When you think it's your last set
When you can only listen to one cassette
When you have to go into debt
To buy a lousy headset

When suicide is sitting ringside
When your sitting poolside
When the feeling won't subside
When the moment comes you have to decide
Is it life or suicide

Manic

Flying high but just getting by
Thoughts occurring faster than I can take action
What will be others reaction

After being down for so long
Maybe this is where I belong

Heart racing out of control
Action that seems so bold
But yet why do I feel so cold

Crumbling Dreams

With my dreams crumbling around me
What does my mind see, nothing but confusion

With my life seeming to have no future
Is it all a delusion

With no hope in sight
What is my conclusion

Would be to end this dreadful flight

Waiting

Waiting for lock down
Will it bring me down

Staying positive through out
Would work without a doubt

Telling myself the game is not over
Will show I'm not a pushover

Wandering where I'll be
Is something I'll have to see

Knowing if the future will bring positive change
Is something I'll have to arrange

Panic

Panic that runs my life
Fear that lives your life

Why can"t I just take flight
To get my head right

Once in the air
Would it be enough to bear

High in the sky wanting to fall
With nobody to call

People that understand
Would make my life grand

Looking Forward

As fall turns to winter the sadness sets in
Stuck in a valley of gloom
With an awful feeling of doom

A road that leads to nowhere
Brings on quite a scare
Not allowing me to leave even on a dare

Looking forward to what spring may bring
Even thinking that happiness is a sin

Delusion

As life is speeding by with not enough
time to do things that should be done
With to much time to think about
things that should not be thought
A mind full of confusion
In a life that seems to be a delusion

Negative Thinking

Negative thinking is like planting a bag of unmarked seeds
You don't know what you have till is to late

Depression

A mind clouded in darkness
A mind full of hopelessness

A mind full of despair
A mind that is beyond repair

A mind full of negative thinking
Is like a ship that is sinking

Positive thoughts are what I seek
For an outlook that seems so bleak

A path well traveled

A path has been well traveled
from a mind that's unraveled

On this path of pain
With nothing to gain

I've walked this path of self destruction
Not having any mental function

Walking without a friend
With no light at the end
I walk this path again

My heart yearns

As my world crumbles around me
The sadness stings like a bee

As my mind fails to keep me strong
As my life seems to be gone

The loneliness grows tall
The tears continue to fall

As my hope disappears
The joy is kept in arrears

As my heart yearns for love again
The sorrow seems to be the trend.

My Daughter

Love of my life
My one and only
So far away yet so near
With the chaos in my head
and the sadness in my heart
Your the one who drives me for a new start

Love

Love is what I seek
with romance at its peak

A friend to hold would
turn my heart to gold

A lover to care for
Like never before

A partner till the end of time
Is what I wish to find

Death of a Friend

For every death of a friend their soul splits
to give you new friends to help you heal

World of Chaos

In my mind there is a world
of chaos and misery in which I live

Thoughts of dying and images of
sorrow is what this world gives

How many pills and prayers will
it take for this world to change

How many tears must be shed
before I am dead.

A Friend Lost

Sadness that returns again and again
When will the sadness end

From feelings of loneliness and pain
To thoughts of regret and shame

Will I ever be the same
From love that's been tossed

To a friend that was lost
Hopes of finding friends till the end

And dreams of finding love again
When will this sadness end

Terror in the Night

Terror in the night
Please help me fight
This terror in the night

Images that should never be seen
and thoughts of not being.
Is the terror I am seeing

Please help me fight
This terror in the night

Hopes and Dreams

Hopes and Dreams
What do they mean
In this world of chaos and hatred
I explode with fear
Running scared thru this world of uncertainty
Where are my Hopes and Dreams I hold so dear

Strength

Strength is what I need
To fight the loneliness in which I fear
Running scared thru a life of things
in which I have no control
My head spinning with thoughts that don't need to be
My life full of confusion and uncertainty
My heart full of sorrow and regret

A Hug A Day

A hug a day to keep the sadness away
A hug a day to keep the loneliness at bay
A hug a day to put a smile on your face
A hug a day to keep the sadness away

Emotions

Emotions that control our minds.
Jealousy that emerges is not kind.
Jealousy to control I must find.

Love that holds true.
Love lost that keeps me blue.

Hurt that runs from the start.
Hurt that broke her heart.
Emotions that control our minds.

Fear

Fear of the unknown.
Fear of what I may lose.
Please take this fear away.

Fear I have never felt before.
Fear I wish never to feel again.
Please take this fear away.

Fear of the future.
Fear of the past.
Please take this fear away.

Fear of my daughter growing up.
Fear of losing my wife.
Please take this fear away.

Fear of this strife
Fear of losing my life.
Please take this fear away.

Always

The pain in her eyes
I will always see.

The hurt in her heart
I will always feel.

My eyes were blind to the
destruction I caused.

My heart is broken from my
own self-destruction.

Live your life to the fullest

To live your life to the fullest,
you must find the love in
your heart and extend it
to all that surrounds you.

Breaking the walls

Breaking the walls of hurt and pain.
For the love I try to gain.

The woman I love so near.
To be loved in return so far I fear.

Answers I fear

My heart yearns for the love I destroyed.

Waiting for answers I may not want to hear.
Fear and sorrow may be what I now hold dear.

Loneliness is what I feel.
For the answers to questions I may fear.

Nightmare

Confusion in my mind.
Emptiness in my heart.
Sorrow & despair in which
I may never repair.
From the walls that keep
me out.
To my mind that seems to self-destruct.
Will this nightmare ever end.

Chosen path

My chosen path of self-destruction has led me here.
Why have I chosen to hurt the ones I hold so dear.

The love of my life
My beloved wife.

With the pain I caused still so near.
Why do I hurt the ones I hold so dear.

To the one I hurt so deeply

For the things I never said,
I am truly sorry.

For the things I have never done,
I am truly hurt.

For the pain I have caused you
I can only hope to have one more chance.
For you and only you are the one for me.

Sadness

Sadness & Sorrow.
Regret & Shame
Loneliness & Pain

Feelings that run deep.
Emotions that overcome.

Tears in my eyes.
Fear in my heart,
For the one that I love is far from my touch.

I am to blame.
I will live with the shame.

The hurt & pain I caused runs deep.
Minute by minute, day by day
I can only try to absorb the hurt & pain away.

Regret & Shame

Thru the changes in my life.
The things so beautiful to me,
may be lost from the mistakes I've made.
Regret & Shame of things not done.
Waiting for time to heal the
anguish I caused.
Thru the changes in my life I've
learned.

Daughter of mine

Daughter of mine
So beautiful & sweet
Life with you will always be a treat.

Thru the sadness that runs deep
in my heart, for all the time lost

A childhood I can't bring back.
For the things I missed I do regret.

Oh daughter of mine I will love you till
the end of time.

Questions

Questions on my mind.
Why I do the things I do.
Seeming to self destruct.
My life in turmoil.
My head in a state of confusion.
Why do I do the things I do.

Seeking Happiness

Tears that flow again & again.
Fears that seem to never end.

My heart aches to be loved again.
Will this pain ever end.

So hard with the hurt at it's peak,
To be with the one I love is what I seek